People in love make me want to vomit
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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