white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
