so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
