She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
