mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
