I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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