You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This baby is an asshole
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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