It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
