I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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