I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
