i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
