I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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