We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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