i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
