just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
