My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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