Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
