bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
