Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
