you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
