another moral hangover. fuck.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
