marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
