She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
