He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Someone came in the potted fern
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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