I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
