Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
