I accidentally burped into my bong.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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