The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
