I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
