Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
