Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Randomize
