Already got asked if we're dating
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
