How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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