I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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