I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
