i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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