xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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