return my video game
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
