I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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