the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
