all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
