Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Buhtt sex?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
