I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
