Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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