Only a mothe r could love this liver
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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