the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
