Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
