he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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