were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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