these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
