fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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