Nicole vs. Life
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
