margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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