I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
