I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
